Simple Disasters
by LordKittyMort
Summary: Seems Reid has a Secret. Secret friends, Secret Talents, a whole Secret Life. I'll update soon! promise!
1. Chapter 1

** I**** wrote this about 4 years ago when i was supposed to be paying attention in class, so its not going to be very good, just warning you now!**

**Disclaimer::**** If i owned it, Spencer Reid and i would be married. simple as that ;3**

It was a Normal day at the BAU, all was calm. They, the team, had just gotten back after a successful case in Switchblade, Oregon and were finishing the paperwork that had been piling up on the desks while they were gone.

Morgan had just crumpled up a spare piece of paper into a ball and was about to chuck it at Reid, when a security guard walked in.

" Mr. Reid?" Everyone looked up from whatever stack of paper they had been working on and over at Spencer.

" It's Doctor." Spencer said with a glare that rivaled that of Hotchs'.

"Yes?" he asked. The security guard looked uneasy, but replied with a steady voice.

" There's someone here to see you." Spencer thought for a moment, '_Who would visit me?' _Derek, who just as everyone else, was eavesdropping and decided to speak up.

" Send him in!" Spencer looked over at Derek with an almost expressionless face.

"It's a Woman." Now everyone was confused even further. It was already strange enough as it is for Reid to have a visitor, let alone having it be a girl.

" What?" Morgan asked,

" I'll go get her." The Security guard completely ignored Derek's question and walked off.

**Kitty knows, very short! and She is very much sorry!**

**This Kitty would write more but the internet is being strange and I would rather save what i have then**

**have it all be deleted because i was stubborn.**

**R&R**

**Im completely open to reviews, and i want your Honest Opinion, but if you**

**dont have something Nice to say, please PM me so i can read it privately instead**

**of posting it where everyone and their brother can see it.**

**Thanks! ^.^**


	2. Chapter 2

**So I kinda Left you Hanging with barely over the first 300 words. sorry about that!**

**Here is the ' MORE ' that i promised you :D**

**Disclaimer: In addition to Myne and Spencer's Marriage, If i owned Criminal minds, Hotch's wife wouldn't have died and Gideon wouldn't have left.**

* * *

The room fell into a slightly awkward silence. A few moments passed, and the silence ended when light footsteps echoed up the hall.

A girl walked in and stopped in front of Reid's desk. She was of average height, around 5'3' or so. Her long, red-brown hair was braided over her left shoulder neatly. She had on a green sweater-vest over a white collared shirt and had on a pair of Khaki pants. To complete the outfit, she had on a pair of black converse. All-in-all, she was the female version of Reid.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a cell phone, Reid's cellphone to be exact.

" Spenny, your supposed to have an Ededic memory, yet you keep leaving your phone at headquarters!" she handed it over and Spencer set it in the top drawer of his desk. he looked around.

" Where's SJ?" he sounded worried.

" You know she can't be left alone like that, remember what happened last time?! "

" Quit your wo-" a loud crashing noise came from the break room and smoke poured out of the partially ajar door. Everyone, save Spencer and the girl looked worried.

" Found her~" Reid said with an odd mix of relief and door to the work room opened all the way and a girl, who looked worse for wear poked her head out.

" ... Kat?" she asked hesitantly.

" Yes?" The female Reid, Kat, asked pinching the bridge of her nose.

" Quick question... How do you fix a coffee machine?" Spencer jumped up from his desk.

" No! Not the coffee!" Kat looked at the other girl sternly.

" SJ... What have i told you about technology? You'r NOT good for it!" SJ stuck out her tongue like a child would,

" Puh-Leese." Kat gave her an ' Oh really now ' look.

" Oh, so your saying... That the toaster just burst into flames all by it's self? That the blender happened to just walk into the dryer?"

SJ gave her an innocent look. " Absolutely."

" So i DIDN'T have to call the fire department 4 times today?" SJ shook her head in denial.

" Not a chance." while they were arguing, Spencer had sat down heavily in his chair and looked at his cup of coffee sadly.

" I can't believe you killed the coffee machine..." he shook his head. The Mourning of the Coffee Machine, however short it was, got interrupted by a cough. Kat, SJ, and Spencer all turned and saw the rest of the BAU team standing there, looking at h them questioningly. Kat didn't seem phased.

" Spenny- Bear, aren't you going to introduce us to your friends?" Spencer said nothing. he had gone back to staring at the cup on his desk. SJ sighed and stepped forward slightly.

" Hey, I'm Shauna Jane, but Spen and Kat call me SJ." JJ went to introduce her self but Kat cut her off.

" We already know who you are. Spenny- Bear here told us ALL about you. The Boss-Man can never get him to shut up about you guys." she said with a smile and paused for a breath.

"I'm Dr. Kat Cunningham." she looked Pointedly at SJ.

" This-" she gestured to her. " is U.S. Marshall and Demolition Specialist, Shauna." While she had ignored the look that Kat had given her, Shauna had started messing with the Office Phone that had been sitting on Reid's Desk, which promptly snapped in half.

" Really Shauna?" Kat and Spencer asked/stated at the same time. You could hear the amusement in their voices.

"Spencer." Reid Flinched slightly, but his eyes met the firm gazes of Gideon and Rossi. Only two words were said, but they were the only words that had been needed.

" Explain. Now."

* * *

YAY! i did it! BTW if you were wondering, some things are a bit off in this CM universe, first off, Gideon never left, but rossi still came.

R&R

This Kitty Urgently awaits your comments!


	3. READ if you want another chapter!

_**AUTHORS NOTE**_

_Due to school starting back up- i've been REALLY busy_

_really! i already have a project due for my spanish class _

_not to mention the floral project im still working on, and when_

_its not school, its stuff going on at home.- I will be taking longer to update _

_this story. FEAR NOT! i wont abandon my story. i should have another chapter _

_uploaded by the end of this week!_

__Also! i really appreciate all 5 of those reviews! it also means a lot

that i have lots of people viewing my story already :)

if you have any specifics for something you want done, i might squeeze it into the story

if i like it or, im going to need a few extra characters if you want to send me a description and name of

your own personal Story character, ill add you in :) so PM me if you have either of those!

Lots of Love,

_** cough cough**_

i mean, With Doom and Gloom,

Lord KittyMort


	4. Chapter 3

AN/ Finally :D

just so you know its there is a Scene change from the last chap.

Disclaimer~ like i said before. i DONT own Criminal minds, the song Love me Dead, or anything specific actual names i may happen to mention in future chapters. THX

* * *

Everyone, save Reid, stood in the **((an/ i dunno what its called but for some reason this sounded right, though i think it may be from a diff show. if you know, tell me please! and ill change it.)) **bull pen. He was sitting in a chair on the far end of the large, round table. Kat and Shauna stood behind him while his team stood around the edges of the table, staring, and waiting for him to speak.

" Where should i begin?" Spencer finally asked. Morgan looked slightly agitated and angry.

"How about you try the _ beginning_?" Reid sighed. He know, this but he still wasn't quite ready. He turned and looked to Shauna and Kat for help. They caught his gaze and nodded in understanding. Kat took a deep breath before starting.

" Spencer here, against his will of course," she winked at Shauna, who smirked.

" Shauna, a few others, and myself" She stopped, and Shauna picked up the rest of the sentence.

"Work for the President!" She chirped cheerfully, then frowned as the stapler she had just picked up from the table crumbled to pieces when she tried to open it. Shooting a quick glace at Kat, she kicked the pieces under the table and tried to look innocent.

"Are you serious?" Emily asked **(( yes. i went there. No Emily did NOT die. nor did she fake her death. so, sorta AU time)) **None of the team could believe what they were hearing. Spencer worked for the President. As in of the United States?

"Since when?" Morgan asked skeptically. JJ looked like she wanted to say something but she kept her mouth shut if she did.

"Um... Shortly before my birthday?" Even Spencer wasn't Completely sure as to when it all started.

~~You suck so passionately  
You're a parasitic psycho, filthy creature  
Finger-bangin' my heart  
You call me up drunk  
Does the fun ever start?  
You're hideous and sexy!~~

Reid was brought out of his thoughts and blushed when her realized that it was his phone that was ringing.

"Kaaat! you changed my ringtone?" The tense atmosphere evaporated and the BAU team all repressed smiles.

"Don't look at me!" Kat defended "That's all on Shauna!. Shouldn't you answer that?" Spencer nodded, flipped his phone open, and pressed talk.

"Reid." He listened for a moment before he sighed.

"Blake, will you quit your whining?" He paused again. His expression morphed slightly into one of anger. " Yes, they know. And we discussed you bugging me. Besides. IM not the one taking the fall for this one because im not the one who told them. Shauna and Kat dropped the ball on that one." He quieted as the person on the other end spoke.

"FINE. Tell Matthew. I don't care!" Spencer hung up while the other person was mid-sentence.

"What was THAT all about?" Garcia asked what everyone was thinking.

"Well, thanks to two certain people" he shot a glare at Kat and Shauna, who conveniently seemed to find the ceiling very interesting at that moment.

" I am now in trouble, and they want to meet you so their on their way.." Kat looked sharply at Reid. He caught her look and understood immediately.

"They drove you here." Was more of a statement then it was a question. She nodded hesitantly and looked away. Annoyed, he sighed.

"In that case-" Shauna cut him off.

"Wait, how can YOU be in trouble? You just said it was our faults!" Kat nodded in agreement vigorously.

" I knew they would be here. I shouldn't have come to see you at work." Kat looked ashamed at her own stupidity. Spencer shook his head.

" Its fi-" A sharp rap on the door cut him off.

"well, its now or never i suppose." he said more to himself than anyone else, as he rose from the chair and made his way over to the door.

* * *

Hi my most awesome Followers and commenters!

I was at home sick today, so i was able to get some of this story done :)

i know it isn't much, but i promise i'll get back to my Co- author, and work some more!

btw, if you would like to know, My co- author is Shauna, and I'm Kat :)

LOVED getting all those emails on my phone letting me know that i had more followers.

i appreciate every comment and favorite

Doom & Gloom,

Lord KittyMort ^.^


	5. Read Please! EDITED

OKAY so i know i posted this already,

but i got set back agian ...

see what had happened was,

i got a bit injured today  
while hopping bushes today  
at my highschool..  
and didnt notice the wooden  
post hiding on the other side,  
and hit it funny, now i cant walk  
for a while, which means i cant get up  
and sit at the computer for a while XD

* * *

i never got around to posting

the new chapter i promised.

My Co-Author and I are trying very hard

so please don't be upset if you have to wait a bit longer!

* * *

ALSO!

To:: Annabeth24

I got your Last Review During Class, and it Made my day :)

To::TheAngelsarewatching, NCISCMFAN, and NRM1982

I appreciate your Comments a bunch, so much,

I added it to this Note :D

* * *

The new chapter shouldn't take long for me to get up and posted

so sit tight!

Doom & Gloom, and all that other Jazz

Lord KittyMort!


	6. Chapter 4

I'm back!

OH and Spencer is gunna be a bit OOC, and I Made up my own President :) don't like? oh well :)

To:People Person I'm Not Here you go!

* * *

**KittyMort**- So i as i was writing this, my co-author, Shauna, was writing

in her fanfic, The BAU & Pennywise, which is an awesome fic btw,

when she decides to go and kill my character off! D:

**Shauna**- Shauna is Not here at the moment, leave a message at

the quack... Quack!

**KittyMor****t**- ... Really Shauna? Just... NO. XD

you cant just have me shanked by a clown then run away -.-

**Shauna**- Well, I would Explain Shaunalynn's Ordeal, but, In

the words of River Song, Spoilers, My dear child.

**Kittymort**- SHAUNA!

**Shauna**- We don't own Criminal Minds!

* * *

Once he reached the door, Reid paused for a moment, before opening it with a sigh. In walked 5 people, One of which,

Was the president himself.

"M-Mr. President!" Spencer stammered out.

"Please Spencer, I keep telling you to call me Anthony. No more of this 'Mr.' stuff." The BAU team were frozen in shock. Garcia was mostly excited. Her Junior G-Man was on first name basis with the PRESIDENT! Reid nodded. He turned and looked at the other four people that had entered the room.

" This is Andrew." He pointed to one of them. Andrew was a bit taller than Spencer, and was built like Morgan. All muscle. He had long-ish black hair that was pulled into a tight braid. He also had a glare that could rival Hotchs'.

" This is Rory." He gestured to Andrew's left. Rory was roughly about the same height as Spencer. He had a mop of dirty blond hair that he kept brushing out of his face. Rory looked up at the sound of his name, and gave a slight wave to the team. Reid moved onto a girl that was to the right of the President. **( i'm getting tired of saying president over and over so he shall hence forth be called Anthony!)**

" Her name is Harper." She nodded in their general direction shyly. She was shorter than everyone in the room, but not awfully so. Her short height complemented her very thin, hourglass figure. Pushing her glasses up her nose, giving everyone a quick look at her ocean blue eyes, before she looked away. Harper had strait, shoulder length light brown hair. An agitated cough drew everyone's attention. Reid gestured to the person who had made the noise.

"This sparkling, ball of sunshine would be Matthew." Matthew had reddish brown hair that was shorter than the others. Reid went to say something else but another angry cough cut him off.

"Spencer." Matthews voice was so calm, it was almost eery. The BAU team watched as Matthew moved out from behind Anthony, so that he was standing in from of Spencer. He crossed his arms with a glare before he spoke.

" You're STILL in trouble later." There was some awkward silence that followed, as he moved back to where he had been standing before.

"Anywho..." Kat said, trying to rid the room of the awkward air, after exchanging glances with Shauna.

"Even though we know your names, we've never actually MET you." Shauna clapped her hands together.

"I have an idea!" Spencer and Kat looked almost afraid for a moment before she continued without a second glance.

"let's talk and get to know each other over lunch!" Kat and Reid let out sighs of relief. Leave it to Shauna to think with her stomach.

* * *

Huzzah! i did it!

I got this down today after turning my Spanish project in.

with some help from Shauna of course.

Lovin' the reviews you guys leave for me :D

i already have chapter 5 and 6 written,

but i'll have to post them later!

Doom & Gloom

KittyMort!


	7. Chapter 5

**Kat- **Updating just for my Wonderful Readers and Reviewers!

well, Shauna doesn't have any ' words of wisdom ' so

I'll just have to have a guess in her place. Pennywise?

**Pennywise- **Certainly. The lovely Lord *cough Lady cough*

KittyMort does not own Criminal Minds, nor anything else

that may be mentioned in the future other than her characters. Phew!

Now that _Thats _out of the way...

Oh _Shaunalynn!~~_

**Kat- **On with the story! 3

* * *

the place was pretty crowded but a table cleared fast when they realized that

we had the President with us. The waitress had taken our orders a few minutes

ago and was back with our drinks. She handed my my Dr. Pepper and a napkin, then

walked away quickly. I went to set my drink on my napkin when I noticed something

was written on it. She had given me her phone number. I smiled before i turned back

to the otherss

Garcia, Kat, Harper, Emily, Shauna and JJ were all having a heated conversation, what

about, I had no clue. Anthony was talking with Hotch and Rossi, while Derek was

talking with Blake, Andrew and, surprisingly, Matthew. Gideon, who was sitting next to

me, saw me watching the others.

"Quite the bunch you've got there." He said quietly. I nodded slightly.

"Yea..."

"Earlier, the girl, Kat. She said that you unwillingly worked with them. Why is that?"

Everyone else seemed too caught up in their own individual, carefree conversations

to notice the serious one being had between Gideon and I.

"It's silly really. I lost a bet."

* * *

**Short short short!**

**Know, and im sorry!**

**Review! I didnt get any for the last Chap and it made me sad...**


	8. Chapter 6

**SORRY! I didn't mean to take so long,**

**a LOT has been going on. I was going to post this **

**earlier Sunday, but i Got sick.**

**Disclaimer:: **

**K- Here we are again! Shauna,**

you know what to do!

**S-** We don't own anything what so ever. if we did,

we wouldn't be poor :(

**C- **Celeste was (x)

**K-**Oh... Okay XD OH! Shuana~

Someone wants to see you!

Oh Pennywise!

**S-** AWAY WITH YOU! XP

**P-** Muahahahaha *Evil Grin*

Would you like a balloon little girl?

**S-** NO I DON'T WANT YOUR FREAKING BALLOON!

* * *

(**Flashback**)

"Sh-Shauna? What are you doing with that skirt?" Spencer backed away slowly.

"Aw, come on~ Spenny! We had a deal~!" She said in a sing-song voice as she advanced on him, grinning like the

cat who got the canary.

"D-Deal?" I don't know w-what your talking about!" He attempted to feign innocence, and failed quite horribly. He was still

backing up in an attempt to escape, but his stomach sank as his back met wall. Hopes of freedom dashed away.

"Spencer, a deal is a promise, and you can't break a promise." She said, taunting him with the skirt.

"You 'Spencer Swear" ed"

"B-but why?" Spencer found himself stuttering.

"Spoilers, my dear genius."

Spencer kept trying to keep the distance between the two of them, even though he knew it wouldn't work.

"You wouldn't dare, Shauna." He said like he was trying to convince himself more then her. She only Smirked in reply.

"Away with ye, skirt!" His hands in a mock cross. She took two taunting steps forward.

"Your going the wrong way!" he yelled.

She took another step.

"No no no no no no! Wrong. Way. YOUR GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, YOU PSYCHO!" Spencer was almost climbing the wall.

"Hehehe.."

"NOOOOOOOO!" echoed throughout all of the building.

(**End Flashback**)

" A bet?" He blinked.

"Yea, I knew Andrew in high school, actually, we graduated the same year and ended up going to the same college. He made me a bet and I lost, so I had to wear Skirts for an entire week." Gideon just stared at me for a moment before he burst into laughter. Our entire group halted their conversations to turn and look at us.

"A skirt? Really?" Gideon got out through his laughter. Andrew smiled knowingly.

"You tellin' him 'bout our bet?" I nodded and he smiled

"That was amazing, and I have to admit, Those skirts worked on you."

By now, Gideon had managed to regain his composure.

"But that didn't answer my question." I couldn't look him in the eyes and silently begged for a distraction.

I looked down at my Dr. Pepper, wish i had gotten coffee instead, and Andrew laughed.

"I have loads of pictures from that week too!" A distraction, yes, but not one Reid had liked.

"Really?! I must see my baby genius in a skirt!"

"Sure," He said right as I said

"No"

"Aww com-" Matthew's phone rang, and I mentally jumped for joy.

He looked at it for a moment before he snapped it closed.

"Sir." He looked at the Pres- Anthony, I corrected myself, who nodded and stood.

"Spencer, go get the Heli." I smiled and jumped up.

"Really?"

"Heyy! i thought it was MY turn to operate the Heli?" Shauna asked.

"NO!" everyone said simultaneously.

She pouted.

* * *

**Yes! i really just did that!**

**Now you must wait until the next chapter **

**for an epic Scene.**

**Or not, depends i suppose.**

**Review my pretties! because the more you do,**

**the more i write!**

**- Lord Kittymort**


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